NLP Forgiveness Sleep Technique – Forgiving Others When No Apology Is Made

This  NLP forgiveness sleep technique can help you forgive someone who has hurt you, which stops you from getting the quality sleep you deserve.

 Forgiveness doe not mean forgetting; it means you are taking back your power to move forward with your life. The person who hurt you no longer has the ability to hold you back.

What Happens When You Do Not Forgive

First off, you need to know what happens to you when you don’t forgive. There are many consequences of not forgiving; they don’t hurt the one who has hurt you. These consequences only hurt you, the one who is bearing the hurt, it creates nighttime havoc.

By not forgiving, you are hurting yourself mentally and physically. Your sleep is disturbed due to critical thoughts running through your head. Your anxiety piles up super high.

I know most of us like to hold onto a  grudge as it makes us feel better. At one time, I did this as well. Holding onto the grudge made me feel superior and I let it run my thoughts all night long.

I would have constant thoughts running in my head of how if I ever saw the person again, what would I say? How would I react? This thought process usually occurred at night, when I had nothing else to occupy my mind. I wasn’t even thinking of experiencing forgiveness sleep. 

Now I wish I had as it would have meant freeing my time for resting and relaxation!

The thoughts ruled my life 24/7. Then one day, it dawned on me, I was hurting while the other person was living their life happily. My thoughts did not affect them whatsoever. Sadly these thoughts were my thoughts.

I was suffering daily due to the fact of holding onto something which was never going to be resolved because the other person was never going to say sorry.

Waiting for something which was never going to happen, I was wasting my life away. I started meditating as well; this was when I was getting into the counseling field.

It took a lot of work to get over it, but I did. The NLP forgiveness technique, which was I developed out the timeline therapy to help my clients also helped me. This sleep technique became my saving grace when I became critically ill. 

Nowadays, when I have someone ask me how to forgive someone who hurt you, I teach them my technique of forgiveness.

You can read this study done on forgiveness to see how the brain heals emotional wounds when forgiving someone has taken place.

Now let’s talk about the consequences which affect only you.

Mental Hurts

  1. Depressionforgiveness sleep - depression

The depression comes on because we are waiting for a resolution that is never going to take place. Also, the person who needs forgiveness may have been close to us; this also causes a deep sadness due to the resentment we hold against them.

Usually, this is an indication that you are letting others hurting you be present in your daily living. Most times, depression can be a healthy thing; it’s an indication that something isn’t working. 

It’s when people sink into a depression that it becomes unhealthy.

Depression is often encountered with people who have mental health illness, but if an unexpressed emotion causes it, it can be far more dangerous for your health. It not only impacts your mental stability, but it can also damage your physical health.

What’s more, is a person who suffers from unforgiveness depression will have a hard time trusting or sharing their feelings with others. This can lead to further triggers that worsen the situation.

  1. Anger

Stewing in our anger while throwing angry daggers at another is never going to work!


Because we are the ones, who are left angry about an actual/perceived hurt we experienced, the person who is getting angry daggers thrown at them won’t even feel them. Your anger will not affect them whatsoever.

Unresolved anger is one of the determining factors to the destruction of marriages, breakdown of the family, and the weakening of bonds we have developed with others.

Many times people believed the past hurts could be forgotten, but this is not true; they are always there, reminding you how you were wrong. This makes anger worse. Any time tension or trigger points are activated, anger will come out.

This emotion loves to play on our weakness of not forgiving or letting go. It creates such a passion in a person that they may be enabled by it to commit atrocities that they didn’t mean to happen.

  1. Stress

As most of you know, stress is the root cause of many illnesses in our body.

Here’s a little personal story about me.

Before I met the man I married, I was a very healthy person. No illnesses whatsoever. People were usually amazed at how fast I was able to overcome the flu or a cold.

But then I met my husband, for a few years everything was great. My children were born; we were getting along great. Cracks started to appear in our marriage. He was still in the partying stage, while I was ready to move on to live a more stable life.

About two years after our marriage, I started getting ill. There are times where a cold that would last a couple of hours or so would last for days. Other times my body would ache. Then in 2013, I was diagnosed with colon cancer.

During my husband’s partying stage,  there were times where I would plan my husband’s funeral in my head because I had not heard from him for days. Stress was so high I would go out looking for him in the middle of the night, once again time I should be sleeping.

My older two noticed how much stress he was causing me. The younger two were too young to see what was happening.

I cannot believe I let this go on for so many years. Living in this unhealthy way destroyed me mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Meanwhile, the colon cancer was removed by a colon resection. But it was too late; it had already spread to the liver and lungs as well; there were some lymph node nodules. My oncologist had me try many different types of chemotherapy, but none of them were working.

My body was not responding in the way it should; this is all due to the stress of having someone in my life who was not healthy for me.

Finally, in July 2014, we decided to separate. I had enough. As soon as he left, I felt like I had no longer need to worry about him, which I had been doing during most of our marriage.

My oncologist and I decided to try different chemotherapy. My body was so glad that it just soaked this chemotherapy right up. The cancer went into remission. Before cancer went into remission, it had been growing like crazy. My liver specialist had given me four years at the most.

Once cancer went into remission, it started shrinking like never before. Now my oncologist says I have 30+ years.

What a difference it makes when the cause of stress is removed.

Luckily my husband has changed his way of living, forgiveness work was done, and we can continue with our marriage.

Physical Hurts

  1. Insomniaforgiveness sleep - insomnia

Not forgiving someone can cause a lack of sleep. The reason this happens is that we lay in our beds going over all the things which have hurt us. Sleep is impossible when our mind is churning full of thoughts.

These thoughts don’t only take place when we’re awake, but they also consume our dreams. Some people have nightmares culminated by the past hurts, which lead them to stay awake rather than experience the nightmares.

Our mind becomes fixed on the emotional hurts. Rather than sleeping, we keep thinking about the offenses which occurred.

  1. Low Immune System

Due to the anger, our bodies are put into a fight or flight mode. Our body responds to extreme circumstances by attacking our immune system.

Some of the ill-health consequences of holding onto a grudge or unforgiveness are:

  • High blood pressure
  • Depression
  • Heart disease
  • Diabetes
  • And other illnesses

When we think that we’ve gotten over it, unforgiveness will return with a vengeance. Pretending everything is okay never works. Most of us have a hard time forgiving.

Why do we have a hard time forgiving?

Because we think that we are owed a real apology from the person who has wronged us. Which if you think about it will probably never come.

Not many want to admit it. But receiving an apology in their mind will validate what they experienced as well; they may see the offending party concede to their wishes.

What Are The Signs Of Unforgiveness

  • Uncontrollable Anger
  • Making Snide Remarks
  • Creating visions of how you could get them back at them
  • Being a compulsive person
  • Not taking responsibility for your feelings
  • You’re physically unwell
  • You make a mental list of all offenses
  • The scene is continually replaying in your head
  • You feel superior to the one who hurt you

What Will Happen When You Forgive

By forgiving someone who has hurt you, you’re accepting the reality of what took place. You’re also finding a way to live in a state of resolution.

Forgiveness is not something you are doing for the person who hurt you; it’s something you are doing for yourself. The one who is going to heal is you.

By forgiving others who hurt you will realize you have survived the incidence, maybe you will even experience some self-growth from this. This happens because it makes you learn more about yourself as well about your boundaries and needs.

How to forgive someone who hurt you can be simpler if you use the NLP forgiveness sleep technique. Why stay in something which is only going to hurt you?

Most of us can say our physical reality is right now. Many would say that the past is a memory while the future is somewhere in the distant, not yet happened. It exists only in our imagination.

Remember the way we look at our past and the imagination of our future will influence how we feel in the present moment.

Many times people who are using this technique will still have the person who wronged them in their life. Knowing that the person might hurt them again, they will need to do some future forgiving. The forgiveness technique is excellent for that, as well. It will also help those who need to forgive someone who is not in their life anymore, whether they are alive or dead.

Reminder: you are doing some energy work. By this, I mean, you’re going to be using an extensive amount of energy. Once you’ve completed this exercise, you should drink a large glass of water as well as some protein to replenish your energy.

You may even experience some high emotions, ride them out as they appear because they are a part of your healing process.

NLP Forgiveness Sleep Technique

The reason I have named this the NLP Forgiveness sleep technique is because I feel it would be better done before going to bed. Practicing forgiveness at night will help you wake up refreshed.

  1. Lay down on your back or sit cross-legged on your bed. Make sure you will not be bothered when you begin this exercise. 
  2. Countdown from 3-1. With each countdown, I want you to inhale and exhale. With your last exhale, close your eyes.
  3. Now imagine, visualize, or feel that there is a line on top of your head coming from past going into the future. For some, this line goes from left to right; for others, it could be from the back of your head facing forward, yet others will see a diagonal line. It doesn’t matter what kind of a line it is or which way it faces as long as it is your past going into the future.
  4. Now you will need to imagine that you’re floating up into this line. You find yourself standing on the line.
  5. What you are going to do is walk back to your past to where the person first hurt you. Go as fast as you can or take as long as you need to. Using your submodalities, walk back to that time where you first experienced the hurt from the person you are going to forgive.
  6. Now find yourself at that spot. Look around just before they are about to hurt you. Notice what you see and how you feel.
  7. What I would like you to do is create a peaceful feeling around yourself, sort of like a protective layer.
  8. Now let the other person do what they did to you. You will not experience any hurt because you have your protection layer around you. Anything they say or will not hurt you.
  9. Rather than feeling hurt, look at them, see how sorry you feel for them that they have to say these hurtful things to you to make themselves feel better.
  10. You feel sorry for them, which means you can even forgive them. This happens because you realize whatever they did to hurt you was only done to make themselves feel superior to you.
  11. Notice what you are learning about yourself while doing the forgiving.
  12. Return to the present moment and imagine stepping down from the timeline back into yourself.
  13. Countdown from 3-1. When you get to one open your eyes, take note of your feelings.

NLP Forgiveness Sleep Technique For Future Hurts

Future forgiveness is done if the person will be in your life indefinitely.

  1. Follow steps 1-5 above
  2. What you’re going to do now is, from the present moment, spread forgiveness for the person all the way to the end of the timeline. You can spread this forgiveness in color; you see as forgiving. If a color does not work for you, you could do it with a feeling.
  3. Follow the steps 13-14 above.

You can repeat this process for every forgiveness work you need to do. Another method that works to help make a change in the way you sleep EFT Fingertip Healing

What happens during the NLP forgiveness sleep technique is you are discarding the emotional baggage while taking away the lesson. You may even ask yourself what you have gained from this experience. Rather than focusing on the experience of what took place, you will now have gained more knowledge of how you view yourself.

How to forgive someone who has hurt you with the NLP forgiveness sleep technique is discreet. As well the other person will never know what you did, so they will never experience the benefits of it.

But you will always experience the benefits of forgiveness and get the rest you deserve.

Share your thoughts below if you would find benefit from the NLP forgiveness sleep technique. 

10 thoughts on “NLP Forgiveness Sleep Technique – Forgiving Others When No Apology Is Made”

  1. These are some really powerful messages you have on forgiveness and letting go of hurtful memories. When I was in high school, I was bullied by a group of people whom I trusted most. That incident left a bitter mark in my youth and I remembered living in a dark hole for a very long time. None of these people ever come forward to apologize, but I was determined not to let the incident break my soul. 

    Nowadays, when people said hurtful things towards me intentionally or unintentionally, I just let it go unless there’s a vital need to defend myself. Otherwise, I wouldn’t waste my precious time debating what’s right or wrong. There’s more to my life than that. 

    • You are right; there is more to life than holding grudges or anger. Our precious time is spent getting angry rather than seeing all the beauty around us. As well it steals vital moments of our sleep—a time we need for repairing and recuperating. Thanks for stopping by. 

  2. Ahh, this type of advice is just what I needed. And I must confess that as I will now close my laptop and try to go to sleep it will not be easy to forgive. I know that the struggle will begin. But it’s not only about the other party, it’s also about ourselves and how not forgiving affects our health. Thank you very much for this post!

    • Great! Hope you benefit much.

  3. Thanks for this great post. I knew going to sleep when your angry wasn’t good, but I had no idea that it caused this many bad side effects to you both physically and mentally.

    Also this forgiveness sleep technique seems very useful and I will definitely have to try it out in the future if I get upset at someone for a long period of time.

    I think this along with prayer can dramatically help someone. Have you also experienced by doing this that you seem to  it hold on to your anger toward people as much?

    • I now practice this technique when I feel anger creeping in. Thanks for the visit and for sharing your method. 

  4. Hi, Jagi,

    I totally agree with you. Forgiveness has to do with you, not the other person. We forgive because we need to get rid of that burden on our backs and continue with our lives. 

    Many people don’t think that a lack of forgiveness matters, but it does, just like stress and depression. Our emotions play a big role in our health. I can attest to that.

    I had never heard of the NLP technique you mentioned, but it’s very interesting and makes sense. I don’t anyone to forgive at the moment, but I will bookmark your post for future reference. Thanks for sharing.

    • The NLP Forgiveness Sleep technique was developed by myself for my clients, but it follows the NLP time therapy. Thanks for stopping by, 

  5. Wow that is an awesome thing! You have grown so much through a tough marriage and the dreaded C word. I remember when I used to hold grudges. I got sick too. And gained weight, and had less success in my life, and was a recalcitrant night owl. Now I think about things a lot more. I avoid making someone else’s problem mine. I remember someone asking why we drink poison and wait for our enemies to die. I don’t remember who said that but your article reminded me of it. Is the technique you recommend a form of meditation? I meditate regularly and do some of the same steps. Thanks for writing this. You are very strong and it shows in your writing.

    • I agree holding a grudge can make a person really ill. I’ve lived it, let it run my life. But no more. Meditation is wonderful and does many positive things. The NLP forgiveness sleep technique is a form of meditation with a concentration on letting anger go so you can sleep better. Thanks for stopping. 


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